I Couldn't Resist...

I had to post this since I would LOVE to live in Australia.  I love, love, love the people that I met there and am still in contact with them today (thank you Facebook).  They really are amazing, caring, funny, genuine people...


These Questions were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a great sense of humour (not to mention a low tolerance threshold for cretins!)

__________________________________________________

> Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK ).
>
> A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
__________________________________________________
>
> Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA )

> A:Depends how much you've been drinking.
__________________________________________________
>
> Q:I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden)
>
> A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
__________________________________________________
>
> Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia ? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay ? ( UK)

> A: What did your last slave die of?
__________________________________________________
>
> Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? ( USA )

> A: A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe .
> Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not
> ... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
__________________________________________________
>
> Q:Which direction is North in Australia ? (USA )
>
> A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
_________________________________________________
>
> Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK )
> A:Why? Just use your fingers like we do...
__________________________________________________
>
> Q:Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )

> A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is
> Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
__________________________________________________
>
> Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK )
> A: You are a British politician, right?
__________________________________________________
>
> Q:Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )

> A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers.
> Milk is illegal.
__________________________________________________
>
> Q:Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can Dispense rattlesnake serum. ( USA )

> A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from.
> All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
__________________________________________________
>
> Q:I have a question about a famous animal in Australia , but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA )
>
> A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.
> You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
__________________________________________________
>
> Q:I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? (USA)

> A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
__________________________________________________

> Q:Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? (France )
>
> A: Only at Christmas.
__________________________________________________
>
> Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )
>
> A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first

When Ears Start Exploding...

(Rainbow on Steve's Bommie.  Gorgeous!)

The next day after first brekky, which I braved a handful of cereal, we attempted Steve’s Bommie.  Risa and I decided on no guide again, for it seemed like a simple dive just around a pinnacle.  We began our descent and Risa suddenly got the worse squeeze in the history of squeezes.  Now our ears were having some difficulty before but we would never give into the pain and continued to dive.  Probably not the best choice…  Risa had to grudgingly abort the dive.  I was reluctant to continue but at the same time, I would have encouraged Risa to go out if roles were reversed.  I asked Lozza if I could buddy up with her and Camilo and she obliged.

We saw lots of Nemos, including what Andy showed me as “The Real Nemo.”  He was tiny!  I giggled as I saw him.  We also saw 2 Stonefish, one, which was white and easy to spot; Leaf Scorpionfish, and The Yellow Wall, which was basically a huge school of mixed yellow fish swimming slowly all around the pinnacle.  We also saw White Tips and one Grey Reefie.  It was a decent dive but I was lonely without my Risa.

After I ascended and peeled out of my wetsuit, I almost cried to see Risa lying on the couch in lounge, huddled up in pain.  I immediately went to her side and began to mother her.  She did not accept any of this but, me being the stubborn person that I am, grabbed her blanket and some Tylenol and the next best thing:  Chantes.  Chantes is one of the most compassionate people I have ever met and I was very happy Risa let Chantes take care of her.

After brekky, I got all geared up while Chantes, Maty and Andy teased me about going diving while my best mate was inside not feeling well.  I almost aborted the dive as the tears welled up in my eyes.  It is such a hard thing when someone you care about doesn’t feel well and there’s not really anything you could do about it.  The crew encouraged me to go diving saying that if it were me, I would want her to go have fun instead of feeling helpless by my side.  So I dove.  It was the same site as before and I was matched with Lozza and Sally (ugh!).  We cruised the dive once again seeing mostly the same.  Lozza spotted a baby Lionfish though and then I found a baby White Tip about 1-2 years old.

When I came up, Risa seemed to be doing a tiny bit better and even got herself some lunch.  She didn’t eat much (which is normal anyway), but then cuddled up on the couch again.  Poor thing!  It made me so sad to see her like that!  While I dove the next one, she went up to the look out deck and poked fun at the crew and had some laughs, which I think helped her feel a little better.  Meanwhile, I prepped for the next dive, which Andy came up to me and told me I was going with him very excitedly.  Apparently on this dive, known to the crew as Grumpy’s Place because of a hungry Cod that lives down there and is fed by other divers, there is a toilet.  How the toilet got there I have not a clue, but it is there.  Andy was SO excited for this dive because he was adamant about getting a photo of himself, sitting on the toilet reading a magazine.  He even donned two pairs of board shorts on so he could have one pair around his ankles.

So Andy, Teresa and I went down and ran into Grumpy.  As soon as Grumpy spotted us, he swam up to us searching for food.  Andy pulled out a large Ziploc bag full of fish and as he was about to pull one out, Grumpy ingested the whole bag!  We three just sat there like deer in headlights!  What could we do?  I immediately thought he’d killed Grumpy for I could see him trying to eat the bag.  Suddenly, Grumpy spat it all out and Andy quickly retrieved it.  We laughed so hard underwater our stomachs hurt.  It was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.  Anyway, we played with Grumpy a bit and swam off towards another pinnacle where we found plenty of Blue Spotted Stingrays.  Teresa wrote to me on her slate how much she loved them and I agreed.  (Now this slate was actually Maty’s and that was the last we saw of that slate…  Who knows what happened to it?  Grumpy perhaps?)

(Andy is not sure "who" keeps feeding Grumpy, but somehow he always knows where to find it..)

(It's like Grumpy's telling me a story.)

We swam on and then we finally saw it: the toilet underwater.  Andy was so excited, he removed his fins, got his magazine out, gave Teresa the camera and we got his pictures.  Such fantastic pictures too!  We could not stop laughing.  Andy then asked if I wanted a picture with the toilet and I negated.  It would have been much more fun had Risa been there to take a picture with me.

After Grumpy’s Place, I came up to find Risa walking about and felt better that she looked better.  By now, I was having a difficult time hearing since my ears were so waterlogged.  I would not admit that I was suffering a bit too.  Risa laid down on the couch again and I laid down on the floor beneath her.  Yes, I love my friend that much ok?  Plus, we had already gotten yelled at for sitting on the couch whilst being wet and we did not need a repeat of that.  Everyone that came in all cooed at us and I was even waiting for someone to snap a picture since they’d been trying all week to get one of us sleeping.

Next dive I needed a buddy and was immediately snatched up by our new friends Pippy and Aron.  I was more than happy to dive with them because they were/are fantastic people!  We got along well with them and were more than happy to chat with them, etc.  We dove Flare Point, which consisted mainly of colorful corals.  By now, my ears were killing me but I refused to ascend.  We went out one direction and suddenly the current picked up.  We busted our butts to get back towards the boat and finally made it to a no current area.  We did not need a do over of the drift dive before…  At 30 minutes, my ears couldn’t take anymore.  Equalizing was impossible and I couldn’t focus on anything more than the pain it was causing.  We all agreed it was time to ascend and I was more than happy to do so.  At our safety stop, we spotted some huge fish beneath the boat.  It looked like a giant, stout Barracuda!  Who knew?  Aron was sure to get some pictures.

(Teaching Pippy the shaka underwater.)

As soon as I got out I tried my hardest not to show the pain I was in, just like Risa had done.  As soon as she saw me though, she knew.  It’s that whole BFFF thing, you know?  You can just tell and she knew.  Roles were reversed and she began to take care of me.  Adorable aren’t we?  This is when we started to call each other Mom.

The last dive of the whole live aboard was actually a bonus dive they tossed in due to Team America’s complaints.  That means there were 27 scheduled dives and 1 bonus one.  Risa and I both declined the last dive of the trip.  After all, we have to head back to a job that involves diving.  You catch my drift…

Throughout the evening Chantes was a big help.  She had taken care of Risa and then took care of me.  What a fantastic person that one is!  We became real close with her and became friends with other crewmembers.  We also befriended our beloved Pippy and her friend Aron.  It was an amazing 7 days with amazing people whom we will never forget.  And this is why we aren’t coming home.  We are going to live in Australia as soon as possible.  After all, we have a holiday visa that’s good for one full year!

The next morning, after not sleeping so well due to ear anger, we had our brekky and arrived back to the dock.  Risa and I were both so sad, for we had made such wonderful friends and had such a blast!  Andy said a few words and then they took some photos of everyone.  Risa and I decided to take our own photos with only the crew members because we did not really want to remember Andy’s team (aka Team America: the ones who kick and lay on coral, chase the animals away, touch things that they aren’t supposed to, feel an entitlement, etc.  No wonder others in the world hate Americans.  Thankfully, we were known as the Hawaiian Girls and not a part of America).  The crew really wanted us to meet up with them later but we decided it best to go see a doctor for our ear problems. 

(Risa and me, getting smooched by Chantes.)

(I still have no idea who's bunny ear fingers those are.)

(Risa and I with Pippy, the rockstar.)

(Us with the Kiwi, Maty.  I don't think he ever wore a wetsuit, just board shorts!)

Andy instructed the driver to take us to a 24-hour medical center and we were both seen.  Risa had an outer ear infection so bad that her canal swelled so much that the doctor couldn’t see anything else.  I had a double ear infection as well as a middle ear infection in my left ear.  We were put on drops and Risa got pain meds and I got antibiotics.  Then we were on our way back to Calypso where we took a quick nap.

At about 1:00 in the afternoon, we met up with the crew at a pub called The Courthouse.  We had lots of laughs and tears.  By 5pm or so we were all starving so we went to sushi… Well, a handful of us anyway.  Chantes proved to be a great friend once again.  Risa was in quite a bit of pain and we were both getting a cold that Team America brought on board.  Chantes disappeared twice and brought back with her orange juice, Advil, cold medicine and throat medicine.  A true friend and wonderful girl through and through.  She even drove us back to our hostel that night so we didn’t have to walk or take a shuttle!  See what I mean?

(Apparently I taste really good to Kiwis?  Thanks Maty.)

(Me, Maty, Pippy and Chantes.  Miss them so much!)

(Risa, Pete and I.  Such a fun guy!)

Our time in Cairns was definitely our favorite part of this whole trip.  Not only did we see amazing creatures in an amazing environment, but we met fantastic people who became quick friends.  This is why Risa and I are moving there.  The people in that town are just lovely, genuine people.  They love the environment and nature just like we do.  They are just marvelous people and we hope to stay in touch with them for years to come.  Had not been for this crew, Chantes, Andy, Maty, Teresa, Lozza, Dermot, Pete, Cameron and Tony, the trip would not have been such a blast.  Yeah the dives would have been astounding, but the time we spent with those new friends?  We wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world!  Love you guys!

The Awesomeness That is Osprey

Day 6

The 15^th of November is a very memorable one that I’m sure no one on the boat will forget.  Risa and I were paired with the elderly Sally and Andy as our guide.  Like I said, we were his faves.  We boarded our tender and were the first to reach the dive site known as North Horn.  We crossed our fingers and every other appendage for Hammerheads again.  Andy had Jesse drop us off farther than the others since we were all brilliant on air.  As soon as we back rolled into the water, we noticed the current change.  Andy even asked us which way the current was going to reconfirm his observation.  It was going opposite of where the boat was and this was to be a Drift Dive.  And so the swimming began.  We burned through our air so fast, but in the meantime did not want to miss any opportunity of seeing anything!  Risa and I were at about 30m most of the beginning while Andy stayed with Sally making sure she was ok.  We saw multiple Grey Reefies, White Tips (some came so close to us too!), and several Remoras.  We were giggling so much when the remoras first joined us because they were all over Andy!  We teased him a bunch asking him why he was so dirty since the remoras were on him almost the entire time.  They then moved to Risa and then to me.  (But they mostly stayed with Andy and Risa because they’re dirtier apparently.)  While we were doing our safety stop, in the shallows, I turned to see a large tail of some kind of shark.  I couldn’t make out what it was and that’s when Risa asked if I saw the Hammerhead!  WHAT??  That was a Hammerhead??  Risa said nobody believed her that she saw one, but I did because I saw the tail.  Stoked!  We counted it as spotting a Hammerhead even though no one believed it.

(Andy's so dirty, he needs Remoras to clean him up. Ew!)

As soon as we surfaced, strange things were afoot.  Apparently, we were the only divers to make it back.  Andy began to help the lookout right away as well as us.  All of those on the boat looked for any sign of divers, mainly the Safety Sausages we were all given in the beginning.  Finally, Teresa spotted one way out there.  They sent the tenders out to pick up the frustrated divers.  This is where we denied being part of Team America.  As soon as they boarded Spirit, a debriefing began.  They began to lose faith in the crew, asking if they even did a current check, etc.  Of course they did a current check, it was in the predive briefing we listened to.  Had these people not listened?  Team America began to put all the blame of the current change on the crew.  Risa and I were baffled as to how these people believed the crew had anything to do with a current change.  It happens.  It was a freak thing, but the ocean did it, not the crew.  You cannot predict these kinds of things.  Risa and I are witnesses that the crew did everything in their power to find the missing divers.  It makes me wonder just how professional Team America is.  After all, they are instructors, dive masters, etc, and yet they complained they waited on the surface for so long, but with only one safety sausage.  That’s right.  Apparently, most of them had removed them from the BCDs for some idiotic reason.  No wonder it took so long to find them – they didn’t follow protocol.  Not the crew’s fault at all.  (Your team Andy!  This is where Andy complained a lot about his team.  He then told Maty that we, the Hawaiian girls as we were known as, were assigned to Maty’s team.  Little did Andy know that made Mat’s team the best one on the boat!)

Anyway, to make smooth things over, the best dive of all came next: The Shark Feed!  North Horn definitely became a favorite real fast.  Before going in, we asked Chantes for a tip on where the best spot was.  We entered the water with our new found friends, Pippy and Aron.  As we descended the line, we could already se the sharks circling.  Such an astounding sight!  We grabbed our spots and watched the frenzy begin.  We sat in a horseshoe in the “amphitheater,” trying our hardest not to hurt the coral.  Andy tied off a garbage can of tuna heads and then dropped it so there was a chain full of heads.  TONS os White Tips, Grey Reefies and even our beloved Hammerhead!  Suddenly one of the giant Potato Cods approached the tuna heads and grabbed a bite.  He sat there on the line for the longest time, just eyeing everyone, claiming his bite!  It was hilarious!  Andy told us later that sometimes the Cod are even more aggressive than the sharks!  When we got the sign the feed was over and the sharks had calmed down a bit, we searched for shark teeth.  I was able to find 1/2 of one and kept it.  It belonged to a Grey Reefie and I was excited.  Then we swam down to where a plaque had been placed for a girl named Tracey.  This had been her favorite dive spot and they scattered her ashes there and placed a plaque.  Not a bad idea…

(Me, taking it all in with the Grey Reefie.)

The last 2 dives were at a site called Silver City.  They were pretty cool dives, but we were still on our shark high from that feed…  Nothing beat that dive!  We took about a bajillion photos and still have dreams about the feeding frenzy.  Just fantastic! 

This day is also the day we realized it was the crew that was making our trip so fantastic.  Team America had basically shunned us, as it was apparent at every meal.  In the dining room, they never left open seats for us.  It’s amazing to see how different people can be.  I don’t think Risa and I could ever be so inconsiderate or oblivious as this.  We learned to grab our food and join the crew in the lounge where we laughed and had a bit of banter at every meal.  It was better this way.  They were more our kind of people.  Just humble divers with great personalities.  Them along with Pippy and Aron made our trip for sure!  We wouldn’t trade any of them for anything!

(Playing with  raw egg underwater.  Teresa, Pippy, and Maty.)

A dream come true!

This is where the dives become even more amazing!  Osprey Reef.  Need I say more?  For those of you who don’t know about this fabulous place, it is 200 miles out to sea in the middle of the ocean.  No cell phone service.  No Internet service.  We were at the mercy of Mother Nature herself now.  Awesome.

Our first dive at 7:50am was a site called Around the Bend.  This is where Andy saw his birthday Hammerhead, so Risa and I crossed our fingers.  He guided us on this one.  Unfortunately, luck was not on our side, but we did run into more White Tips and were shown some Dogmouthed Tuna.  These made Risa hungry and the first thing she said when she surfaced was that she wanted sushi.  Go figure. 

Our next dive was Around the Bend once again, but this time we were “not guided by Chantes.”  She was supposedly there only to take photos.  This was one of the most rewarding dives, but also where Risa gets the Special Ed award.  We were cruising along when I realized I was at a depth of 39.1m, which is just less than 130 feet – the deepest allowed for recreational diving.  I came up a bit and saw Risa swimming downward a bit.  I was checking something out when Risa approached me, showing me her dive computer.  Ready for this?  She dove to 41.8m, which is about 138 feet.  Not to worry folks, she was scolded by Andy and won the award for the day. 

(Where fish swim... Up.)

THEN, the most amazing thing happened.  We turned around and there swimming right towards us, a beautiful Manta Ray.  This creature was amazing and just so graceful!  It was the first time we’d ever seen one diving.  We were SO happy.  After watching it a bit, we noticed one of the members from Team America swimming closer to it.  It had just turned around and was eating when coolio decided to reach out and try and touch it.  Risa and I got so upset.  It was then that the Manta spooked and swam away.  We could have had longer with this marvelous creature, but Team America ruined it, once again. It was still an amazing dive nonetheless.

Next we dove The Gap with Andy.  We truly were his favorites at this point, you could just tell, lol.  We saw a lot of fun stuff including a Nudie that he had never seen before.  I took several pictures, but unfortunately, the housing fogged up.  It had several dives of no fogging but of course, it had to happen when we saw this, what we’ve decided, rare Nudie.  I did get some snapshots, but he still turned out a little fuzzy.  Pretty cool though.

Next was Admirality, named due to an anchor that broke through the reef when Captain Cook anchored here.  Admirality is the brand of the anchor that is wedged in a swim through.  Maty guided us on this one along with our Hostee Teresa, from Sweden, whom we love.  Before we dove, Maty asked us if we were cool with swim throughs and we nodded in excitement.  These swim throughs were tiny!  We went through the several of them and I swear they got smaller every time we went though one.  There were times when we had to actually turn our bodies so we could fit.  After 2 of the other divers that joined us ran low on air and went back to the boat, we went back to the anchor swim through and this time, dove under the anchor and got a couple of great pictures.  Afterward, we stumbled upon 2 Octopus mating!  They were adorable and so shy.  We watched them for a while and then continued on.  Very fun dive.

(One of the octopuses we interrupted. Oops!)

(Admirality Anchor.  See it?)

In the evening while it was raining, we dove Admirality again.  This time with Chantes.  Before we descended she asked if we were ok with swim throughs.  I was a little nervous about Risa since she is not a fan of tight spaces but she said she would be fine.  We went through a couple of them, Chantes in front, Risa in the middle and me trailing.  In the middle of one of them, we sat there for what seemed like eternity.  Poor Risa almost had a panic attack during it all and I didn’t understand why we were sitting there not moving.  Apparently, there was a giant Green Sea Turtle that Chantes had befriended on previous dives sleeping.  She had to try and move him since he was blocking the whole tunnel.  He was gigantic and very lazy.  He turned to Chantes and Risa thought for sure he was going to bite her.  He just sleepily swam off to find another hiding space to crawl in.  We also saw a White Tip and TONS of Humphead Maori Wrasse.  It was like a parade of Humpheads, it was gorgeous!

It was another great day of diving!  That’s right, five more dives.  After this one, we were freezing!  Not only were we freezing but it was still raining.  It felt so nice to peel off our wetsuits (which stopped smelling so bad since we decided it was the Sour Apple solution they were using to rinse them with).  Up to now, we are at 19 dives.  That’s right, 19 dives in 5 days.  How do you feel about that?  We feel pretty good, although we were going through the Swimmers Ear drops real quick…

Did Ya See The Turtle??

Day 4, Happy Birthday to me!

Today was the day where we stopped at Lizard Island to drop off the 3 Dayers and pick up the 4 Dayers.  We woke up to our normal wake-up call and, you guessed it, we skipped first brekky.  I got my first “Happy Birthday” from Andy and later Risa.  She’s too tired in the mornings to figure out these things… We hopped into our tenders and headed towards Lizard Island where the shoreline was beautiful.  Big boulders, fine white sand and crystal blue waters with friendly elderly people.  As we began our optional hike lead by Andy, Risa and I wondered why it was called Lizard Island.  Just then, we approached a large Monitor and simultaneously registered the answer: “Oooooohhh.”  The view from the top was just gorgeous.  I took several thousand pictures and we both agreed we did not want to leave.  I think this has become the theme for our adventure: We don’t want to go home.

After our fun on the island, we were treated to a brand new dive the crew had never done before: a muck dive off Lizard Island.  Because Risa and I did not want to be embarrassed again, we braved the waters in only board shorts and rash guards.  Yup.  That’s right.  NO wetsuits.  Yes, we are crazy.  We were sure to take pictures to prove it to you all.  We were guided by Maty and ran into a giant Remora.  For those of you wondering what the crap a Remora is, think of a shark and the little fish that “follow” them. Now this Remora was giant which lead us to believe there must be colossal sharks in these waters.  Well, we never saw one, erm, I never saw one.  Only Risa did.  Another White Tip.  Don’t get us wrong, we LOVE our White Tips, but we were hoping for something a little bigger than a 5 foot reefie.  We also saw 2 Striped Belly Puffers (which reminded us of work) and lots of purple Sea Stars and a giant Crown of Thorns.  Not too much on this dive, but it was still fun.

(Pre-dive!  Venturing into the waters sans wetsuits!)

(Maty, doing the strong kiwi man.)

The next dive was my “Birthday Dive.”  Andy promised me that having your birthday on Spirit was good luck.  After all, he saw a Hammerhead on his.  We dove The Monolith and saw heaps of Nudies, including a special one with 3 Lungs!  Very cool!  It was then we saw one of “The Americans” splayed out along the coral.  This man was literally lying on top of several types of coral trying to get a picture.  Now in the introduction of Spirit, they are sure to tell us not to touch the coral or any animals.  What was this fool thinking??  Risa and I immediately shook our heads and watched as Andy scolded him.  Seriously.  We were so upset, but were sure to thank Andy for rebuking him.  (This is where “Team America” began to form… ) Because we were freezing in this dive, we were air pigs and sucked all our air real quick.  We still lasted 63 minutes and dove 27.2m.

After another meal, Risa and I decided to dive the same site without a guide.  There were about 26 people (not including the crew) diving so it got a little congested at times.  I cannot tell you how many times we were kicked or ran into by these supposedly professional divers.  I swear, we’d find something cool and they would immediately barrel into you to catch a photo instead of being patient until you were done photographing.  And so, we dove it on our own.  THIS was fun because we saw, for the first time in our lives, a Loggerhead Turtle!  He was apparently following us for a bit but when I went to get my camera, he got shy and swam on.  We also saw more White Tips, Sweet Lips, lots of beautiful reef fish and Nudies.  There was one point where we saw this gigantic Triggerfish.  I thought he was eating and I apparently swam into his personal bubble and he attacked me.  Luckily, I escaped but I cannot say the same for Risa…  She got bit on the calf and has a bruise to prove it.

(Sweet Lips.)

                (I swear she's not petting him...  This was after the attack and she was swatting at him..)

After this dive, we see the Special Ed case, that is yours truly.  We logged our Deco’s and were talking with Chantes when she started talking about how she could have stayed at her safety stop forever.  She said she turned around and stared into the eyes of a turtle!  I don’t know where my head was (well, I have a pretty good idea) but I decided to ask her the most idiotic question I could:  “That’s awesome..  But did ya see the turtle???”  Really Hollie?  REALLY??  And that became my phrase…  Until Risa and I told them about our giant Triggerfish attack…  Risa peeled off her wetsuit and there was already a bruise forming as Chantes took a look.  Andy overheard us and apparently asked if it was a Triggerfish bite and of course, I come back with, “No, it’s a Triggerfish bite!”  REALLY???  And this is where I became the dumb girl on the boat because right after that Andy told me he had just asked if it was a Triggerfish bite.  Of course, Chantes had to retort with “Did ya see the turtle??”  Rumor has it that I left my brain at home.

After hot showers we headed to the dining room for dinner.  Mmmm, our chef Andrew was the best!  We ate so well that whole week!  Risa and I, as usual, tried to escape into the lounge where the crew eats since we don’t really get along with the other guests.  Well, I wouldn’t say ‘don’t’ get along,’ but they only give themselves enough room to eat, so we’re kinda shafted.  Go figure.  It’s “Team America.”  The crew agrees with us when we say we are not part of that team.  We have our own ‘special’ team.  Or at least I do…

(Trying not to get burned from the sparklers.)

Anyway, Chantes came in and said we were needed for dessert so we moved into the dining room again.  Suddenly the lights went out and the sparklers flew!  Everyone broke out into song as they wished me a happy birthday and presented me with a giant chocolaty trifle!  It was amazing!  I’ve never had a cake with sparklers as the candles!  It was brilliant, not to mention delicious.  Even if the sparklers did burn my knee.  Andy then came over and as he wished me a happy birthday, gave me a Spirit of Freedom t-shirt – just the one I would have picked out to buy too, with sharks and Osprey Reef on it!  It was definitely one of top, if not THEE best birthdays I’ve ever had!  

(Yay sparklers as candles!)

Drift Dive Ditchers...

(Flame File Clam shining away.)

Day 3 on Spirit we skipped first brekky as usual.  We were our usual cheerful selves as we mumbled something that sounded close to ‘good morning.’  This A.M. we dove Pixie Pinnacle (our favorite on Ribbon Reef).  Dermot must have really ticked off Andy because he was assigned as our guide once again.  This dive was a treat as we saw tons of amazing creatures!  Risa continued her obsession with Nemos and as she was snapping some macro photos, I peered into some nooks and crannies and almost lost my regulator as I looked into the eyes of an Ornate Wobbegong Shark!  I squealed underwater to try and get Risa’s attention but had to swim over to her, grab her fin and drag her to my finding.  We did our sign for “mind blowing” and took some photos of this fascinating creature.

(The underwater sign for "mindblowing.")

(Mindblowing!)

We moved on to find humungous Flatworms, and while Risa was snapping a photo of one,  she was suddenly bit on the hand!  The brute was nothing more than a little yellow Damsel, but man, was he mean!  I even boxed with him for a bit and had to swim away in defeat.  

Dermot then pointed out the coolest clam we’ve ever seen, called a Flame File Clam.  These clams display a lazer like light throughout it when light from a torch, or flashlight, is shone on it.  Very cool.  Next Dermot pointed out something in a hole but Risa and I could not make out was he was showing us.  He ended up taking out his regulator and yelling underwater, “Stonefish’  Ooooooo, ok!  Got it!  We then saw Pipefish, tons of different colorful Reef Fish, and a Manta Shrimp.  Pretty amazing stuff.   Our depth on this one was 27.4m and a dive time of 69 minutes, with, of course, about 70bar left of air..  Not bad for our first dive of the day!

Our next dive at Cod Hole was quite rewarding!  Andy, who I believe this dive made us his favorite guests of all time, guided us and asked if we wanted to help him find his Holy Grail, the Pygmy Seahorse.  We were warned we would be reverse profiling once again, but were ok with it since our guide was ok with it.  We dove down and followed Andy down to 32.3m and fanned out, seeking the tiny creature on different fans.  That’s when we heard Andy banging against his tank that he’d spotted one!  Now I don’t know how long he’s been looking, but Lozza came down with us to try and witness, and she said he’s been trying a while.  This is why Risa and I are loved by him, because we were his good luck charms J  He was so happy, he cheered underwater (photos to prove it). And wrote on his slate “I’m so happy.”

(The infamous Pygmy Seahorse.  Seriously, SO tiny!)

(Andy and his "I'm so happy" slate.)

Afterward, we cruised around a bit and I am not sure what it was that I saw as I followed Risa and Andy, but I snapped a quick photo of it.  While I was taking the shot, a White Tip Reefie swam into my picture and I caught a pretty sweet snapshot.  When we surfaced, it had been a 71 minute dive, finishing up with 60+bar.  Sweet as.

(Prepped for the Cod Feed.)

Next was the Cod Feed.  Now these gigantic Potato Cod rival the size of a Volkswagon Bug, no joke.  We followed Andy down and he was immediately greeted by a giant Cod.  The Cod proceeded to follow him all the way down to the feeding site.  Risa and I just giggled the whole time for we had never seen a fish this big!  We all kneeled on the sand in a big oval encircling Andy and the food.  With Risa on my left, Andy began the feed in front of his favorites.  As the feed continued, one man decided he was more comfortable standing and stepping on Risa.  I don’t know why he thought it was a good idea since the rest of us were quite content kneeling like we were told, but I had to try and shuffle over so Risa could have some room too.  (Your team, Maty!)  What an amazing experience.  It was quite entertaining as the alpha male chased away the rest of the Cod.

After Andy gave us the ‘straight edge’ sign, we were allowed to take pictures in the middle of the scene since the Cod sit there in front of the container of food waiting for something to magically appear.  Risa snapped some great shots as our skipper, Cameron, encouraged the Cod to come closer.  One even made me scream and jump underwater as he showed his face right next to mine while I was watching another.  It was a blast!

After the Kodak opportunities, we were guided by Demi, another Japanese import (who with the aid of Akira, tried to convince me they were form Korea as I showed off my 5 words/phrases of Japanese dealing with turtle food and Sea Life Park).  In the end, we saw plenty of fish, Cod, a White Tip Reefie, etc. and ended at 73 minutes.  It was remarkable!

The last dive of the day was at Dynamite Pass.  Andy decided he liked spending time with us and guided us on this one, along with a 70-something year old lady (guessing the age) and a man named Camilo from Florida.  Risa and I learned quickly that it was better for us to enter the water last and give these people plenty of space in the water.  I cannot tell you how many times we got kicked in the head, ran into from behind and barreled into..  Since this was the case, we hung back a little, even though it was a Drift Dive.  This is the dive we saw gargantuan Trigger Fish.  These things were SO huge, we couldn’t stop laughing.  We saw a couple more White Tips, which you would think we would be over by now, but no, we were still excited to see them; and some Parrotfish.  We ended this dive at 59 minutes and some words from Andy about how we ditched him.

It was a fantastic day, but to end it all we had a little chat with our Kiwi friend on the crew, Maty about the mixture of our wetsuits and the green apple/fresh water dip that stunk up the deck of the boat. That was the embarrassing ending to the “Stinky Girls Club.”  Apparently, the crew was sniffing around trying to figure out what the stench was…    Let’s just reiterate that there are 2 types of divers: Those that pee in their wetsuits, and those that lie about it.  Well, Risa and I are not liars…  We were cold and decided that was the best way to warm up.  So, it was either freeze, or stink, and we do not like to be cold.